Friday, 7 October 2011

Zombies! Aliens! Vampires! Dinosaurs!

There's nothing more annoying than trying to cheer up your friend after a break up that feels like the end of the world for them. You end up saying things you don't believe in. Cliche things. Movie dialogues. For a while you'll feel stupid even saying those lines, but the person is so depressed the only person who knows how lame you sound, is you. [The victim of depression has been sketched so in order to avoid any resemblance with any real human being so that I do not get kicked out of my social circle. Yeh right you sadasses know who you are].

Time doesn't really heal. Cake does. 

It's not that you're special, it's statistics. There's gotta be someone you can find with mutual interests, out of 7 billion people in the world. 
Some ego-inflation should fill that puncture in your heart.
Here you will get an awkward reply, like "I don't care if there's anyone better than him/her, he/she is all I ever wanted." You will know deep inside that it is cake that everyone really wants because cake is not a lie, but they don't know that yet and it's okay.

You will find yourself trying really hard to cheer them up but they will slap your face with miserable bouts of failure.

It costed 40 Rupees at the canteen which I could've spent on four Aloo ke Samosay for myself instead.
Responses from individual male and female victims of depression.

Oh well a few hundred calories more into my blood system.

I even make phone calls just to make sure they didn't do anything stupid in my absence, which is a big thing for me anyway because I hate phone calls, mostly because they're full of unnecessary conversation to avoid awkwardness.

I must be a good friend, I must be a good friend, I must be a good friend.
Break ups suck. Not because it makes the couple miserable, but even our lives. Please love each other carefully (don't give me that "I didn't mean to love, it just happened" - crap) and until you heal again, eat lots of cake and buy yourself a puppy becomes there's nothing more reliable of your love, than a puppy. Unless it dies. Now that's sad.