Since there are more Indian readers on my blog than Pakistanis and I think Pakistanis are bored of me now,
HEY GUYS, I'M COMING FOR 2 WEEKS TO INDIA SOON. SHOW ME YOUR WORLD?
Wednesday, 6 November 2013
Since there are more Indian readers on my blog than Pakistanis and I think Pakistanis are bored of me now,
Posted by Rija Yousuf at 16:51:00
Sunday, 3 November 2013
Some weeks ago I cut my finger very badly while making an architecture model, all the way to my bone. Strong bone I must say. Must be all that vitamin D from sunshine and shit. Anyway let's skip the part my sink was full of blood and my bedroom floor polka-dotted with blood stains that mum thought was red paint, and jump to the part I'm lying in the hospital bed getting stitches.
The stitches were infected and my finger became full of yummy juicy pus and the dressing around my finger was so tight that my blood supply was cut off and my whole finger went numb and blue like blueberry pudding.
The doctor said patches of my cells have died and now my skin's going to peel off and my flesh will grow its way from inside and make new skin.
As I'm typing this, half of the skin on my finger is in the process of shedding off and when I take a peek what's underneath my Frankenstein-looking skin corpse, I see only the SOFTEST, PINKEST BABY SKIN EVER. YOU KNOW, LIKE THE CUTE SOFT SKIN UNDER A KITTEN'S PAWS OR A BUNNY RABBIT'S TONGUE?
THE BODY FIGHTS BACK.
IT'S A MOFO SOLDIER, FIGHTING DEATH AND DECAY.
THE DAMN THING HAS A SOLUTION FOR EVERYTHING.
IT ENDURES AND JUST MOVES THE HELL ON.
ALWAYS REVIVING, ALWAYS RE-BIRTHING.
I'M A DESERT SNAKE SHEDDING MY SKIN.
WHAT?! REALLY?? YEAH.
I WISH I GOT INFECTED STITCHES ALL OVER MY BODY NOW.
YOU THINK YOU DON'T GOT IT IN YOU TO LIVE THIS LIFE?
STOP BEING A WUSS AND BE STRONG LIKE THE LAWS OF YOUR BODY.
IT'S LIKE MY FINGER'S GLOWING A HOLY RADIANT LIGHT AND SINGING HALLELUJAH.
Posted by Rija Yousuf at 19:46:00
Monday, 21 October 2013
I USED TO BE SORTA POPULAR?
SHIT HAPPENS RIGHT.
TALKING ABOUT SHIT.
I'M A SUCKY HUMAN.
I DON'T LOOK LIKE ONE
WITH THAT DIMPLE AND
I'VE DONE TERRIBLE THINGS.
BUT I'M DEALING TO LIVE WITH IT.
AND YOU ALL SHOULD TOO.
ACCEPTANCE IS BETTER THAN NICOTINE.
EVERYTHING YOU HAVE AGAINST SOMETHING
IS ACTUALLY AGAINST YOURSELF.
I THOUGHT READING IS GOOD.
BUT DON'T DEPEND ON IT SO MUCH
TO LEAD YOUR LIFE.
THE UNIVERSE IS SUPPOSED TO BE
THE ULTIMATE BOOK.
YOU MUST GO OUT AND LOOK
AT THE CROWS IN THE SKY
AND THE ANTS IN YOUR GARDEN.
PLEASE DON'T JUDGE.
PLEASE DON'T OPINIONATE.
IF WE TALK ABOUT YOUR OPINIONS
AND MY OPINIONS
ABOUT LIFE AND POLITICS AND RELIGION
WE WILL GET INTO WARS.
LETS TALK ABOUT OUR SHIT.
THAT'S SOMETHING WE
HAVE IN COMMON!
HERE'S TO SHIT.
Posted by Rija Yousuf at 05:34:00
Thursday, 18 April 2013
When I was a kid and looked like a boy, my dad, my brother and I would all go to this barber shop and get haircuts together. A cute humble barber shop with sweet smiling men who'd cut your hair for just a few riyals, and the kids would get to sit on the seat that looks like a car, with a steering wheel and all. There was a glass floor that had water and real fish inside it, and I would walk over it and follow the fishes and wonder if I should suggest to the the owner to keep sharks or whales in it too but was shy. At the end they had this nice big poofy fluffy brush dipped in powder with which they'd pat the spikey bits of leftover hair off your neck. It felt like a thousand kittens.
Then I looked up at the mirror today and the woman cutting my hair butchered me into a boy and I had to pay 600 rupees for it.
Posted by Rija Yousuf at 18:34:00
Thursday, 4 April 2013
You open a book, play the song of the day, watch a movie. Paint. Draw. Write. Jam. Worship. Work out. Study. Judge. Text that old friend. You seek an escape from loneliness and that escape becomes more important, so your books and music and internet and your opinions and your god/s and nicotine all become important. Escape through your family, your friends, your cat, your studies, your very own creativity - an entire culture based on escape. Everything we call civilization. And then they tell you to discover your roots and follow the values of tradition.
Posted by Rija Yousuf at 10:28:00
And nothing will threaten you if you've found comedy in your misery.
Posted by Rija Yousuf at 08:58:00
Thursday, 21 March 2013
We are screened with prejudices, whether religious or spiritual, psychological or scientiﬁc; or with our daily worries, desires and fears. And with these for a screen, we listen. Therefore, we listen really to our own noise, to our own sound, not to what is being said.
Posted by Rija Yousuf at 10:15:00
Saturday, 23 February 2013
Posted by Rija Yousuf at 16:04:00
Sunday, 17 February 2013
Tuesday, 8 January 2013
We must not be ashamed to talk about what God was not ashamed to create.
Posted by Rija Yousuf at 05:02:00
Thursday, 15 November 2012
Tuesday, 18 September 2012
Is there no sense of self apart from your taste in art and music and movies and sports and activities and interests? Is that all you are? Such tricks. Let the heart be naked and speak for itself. Don't be describable.
Posted by Rija Yousuf at 22:13:00
Saturday, 1 September 2012
The earth is round and space is infinite and once in a while the rotation of the planet will make you upside down in space without you knowing and when you think you're looking up at the heavens you're actually looking at hell and when you're looking down to hell it's really heaven. Haha.
Life's too short to hold grudges. Let's be balloons of our favorite colours and float and entangle and pop.
Posted by Rija Yousuf at 07:07:00
Thursday, 19 July 2012
Once a schoolmate was very depressed about life. My best friend came along and told him not to think about it and randomly slapped him hard on the face and kicked him in the balls. The guy was like "Wtf did you do that for!?" and my best friend says, "Are you sad now?" The guy replies "No I'm in too much fucking pain."
"Exactly," says my best friend.
Posted by Rija Yousuf at 08:26:00
Thursday, 12 July 2012
There needs to be a song every human being on the planet knows. Speakers in the sky will play the music at unexpected times and every one will stop whatever they were doing and forget what who what and where and we will all just stand up wherever we are around the globe and sing together without any other care in the world. Let's all write a global anthem.
Posted by Rija Yousuf at 12:15:00
Monday, 25 June 2012
I read all of your blogs. I read them and try to study what kind of people you are and what kind of things you go through and what kind of stories you have and what really happened that made you post what you posted. There are some of you who are different from me and find importance in things I do not, and some of you probably think the same of me. There are some who struggle a lot and have channeled it into hardcore wisdom. There are some in love and I hope it makes you more happy than sad. There are some who are alone and have music, movies or books as their best friends which I think that is just perfect. There are the witty ranters and the optimistic oranges and the mysterious people who will mindfuck you by writing a few lines. There are the clowns who make people laugh and the serious story tellers. You are all lovely and I love you. Everything in it's right place.
Posted by Rija Yousuf at 08:56:00
Monday, 18 June 2012
We are all alone and I will forget all the pages of all the books I ever read and all the movies I ever watched and the names of my favorite songs and all the thoughts I ever thought and we all will die alone and nothing will matter.
Posted by Rija Yousuf at 11:42:00
Tuesday, 29 May 2012
|[The heights are to scale. Yes I'm 5 ft. Shutup.]|
|I am horse.|
|I am whale.|
|I am baby dinosaur.|
|I am baby elephant.|
|I am nuclei.|
|I am planet.|
|I am tomato.|
|I am potato.|
Posted by Rija Yousuf at 09:41:00
Tuesday, 15 May 2012
I saw a woman today with a full on grown mustache and bushy eyebrows and thought to myself, how awesome. You know what. We poop smelly shit and we fart and burp and we are hairy and we sweat and we stink. Some of you can pretend your poop smells like flowers and you don't pass any kind of wind because you are sophisticated humans and your skin is spotless but it's all lies, lies I tell you. Why are we embarrassed by ourselves, instead of made humble?
My armpits are itching.
So bloody what?
Posted by Rija Yousuf at 17:23:00
Saturday, 21 April 2012
The moral issues of Zoroaster, the cosmic greatness of Hinduism, the joy in Truth of Buddha, the spiritual victory of Jainism, the simple love of Tao, the wisdom of Confucius, the poetry of Shinto, the glory of the One God of Abraham, the harmony of Sikhs.
Posted by Rija Yousuf at 11:01:00
Tuesday, 20 March 2012
I didn't bring anything special from Lahore, but I stored her food in my stomach and shat it in Karachi 2 hours later. I think that's more beautiful and less cliche than being at two cities at once.
Posted by Rija Yousuf at 12:47:00
Tuesday, 6 March 2012
Posted by Rija Yousuf at 17:41:00
Thursday, 23 February 2012
Posted by Rija Yousuf at 09:28:00
Monday, 20 February 2012
Posted by Rija Yousuf at 12:51:00
Sunday, 29 January 2012
Posted by Rija Yousuf at 13:35:00
Wednesday, 4 January 2012
I know for some of you finding your true love is an important deal, even worth all the pain and hurt you might give to one another in the process, but quite honestly -
Posted by Rija Yousuf at 13:01:00
Sunday, 1 January 2012
Posted by Rija Yousuf at 11:06:00
Monday, 19 December 2011
The secret to being selfless, is subtle doses of self-service when no one is watching. A quick humble meal for the stomach, a few thoughts to keep the brain busy and blinking; healthy laughter a few times of the day. Fuel for the magnetic core till it becomes inert and reaches maximum stability. Occasional portrayal of emotions to prevent alienation from rest of the world. Surpassing the traps that distract you from the simplicity of being alive. Nothing's complicated. Have no desire, no goal, no needs, no wants, no obsessions, no love, no hate, no blame, no judgement, no inspiration, no heroes. Synchronize with the simple fabric of space. Conquest of the self. The caffeine and the nicotine and the cold shots are shortcuts. No being sorry for yourself. Be your own reason of what you are. Don't become the machine. Become the master of it. And when you do, step up and ask them,
Posted by Rija Yousuf at 17:02:00
Saturday, 5 November 2011
|Your average frustrated teenager trapped in a capitalist world of dissatisfaction.|
|Entry of photographer struggling to capture intimate moments in their most pure and realistic form.|
|The 3-second transformation.|
Posted by Rija Yousuf at 09:12:00
Friday, 7 October 2011
|Time doesn't really heal. Cake does.|
|It's not that you're special, it's statistics. There's gotta be someone you can find with mutual interests, out of 7 billion people in the world.|
|Some ego-inflation should fill that puncture in your heart.|
You will find yourself trying really hard to cheer them up but they will slap your face with miserable bouts of failure.
|It costed 40 Rupees at the canteen which I could've spent on four Aloo ke Samosay for myself instead.|
Oh well a few hundred calories more into my blood system.
I even make phone calls just to make sure they didn't do anything stupid in my absence, which is a big thing for me anyway because I hate phone calls, mostly because they're full of unnecessary conversation to avoid awkwardness.
Break ups suck. Not because it makes the couple miserable, but even our lives. Please love each other carefully (don't give me that "I didn't mean to love, it just happened" - crap) and until you heal again, eat lots of cake and buy yourself a puppy becomes there's nothing more reliable of your love, than a puppy. Unless it dies. Now that's sad.
Posted by Rija Yousuf at 17:58:00
Sunday, 11 September 2011
Stop it dude. Stop looking into the mirror again and again. In your home, in someone else's home, in the school bathrooms, in the coffee restrooms. Why is your image such a distraction. If you look good, you'll get a few upbeat remarks, feel good about yourself for a few minutes, and that's it. If you don't look good, no one will say anything and you can just move on with more important things.
Stop fidgeting with your freakin' hair. It's hair strongly attached to your head, it won't fall off if you stop touching it. Stop being touchy about it. I will ruffle your hair or give you a nudgie if I want to, however neat your hair is that morning, so deal with it.
Stop spending all your money on face washes. You know they don't work. You know the pimples will go when they want to go and there's nothing you can do about it so just let it go and let it be.
Stop wearing clothes that are completely uncomfortable to wear but you wear them because they look good.
Stop being so self-afflicting and fidgety and chaotic and self-conscious in all the wrong areas. Nobody cares about those insignificant things. Those who do just need to get laid. So calm down. You're pleasant when you're calm.
Give your brain a rest. You must be tired. When you're done, there're way bigger things out there to worry about, worth the energy.
Posted by Rija Yousuf at 12:50:00
Friday, 2 September 2011
Do you ever have a good time with a stranger that you only met once, than you would with the people you see every day of your life?
I still think of this little girl back in Riyadh, sitting at her window, who'd vigorously flail her arms around to say hello to me in a language I wouldn't understand, and I'd wave back in a language she wouldn't understand either. But we randomly waved and smiled and laughed every time we spotted each other as if we had known each other for years. I still think of that old woman who sat next to me on a plane and told me about all her children getting married, leaving her to live alone by herself. I still think of that taxi driver who sang Akon songs in front of my mum for which she called him an ullu ka patha.
Everyone doesn't always have to be in your Facebook list. You don't always have to know their names and phone numbers. Let half the people in your life be strangers that you only see for the first and last time. You will like the world more that way, and for some reason always think of them, even though they had no life-turning impact on your life.
I'm so glad I don't know more than half the people following this blog. Take it as a compliment.
Posted by Rija Yousuf at 07:37:00
Monday, 4 July 2011
Hello class. Oh please no need to stand up. Do sit down.
Today we shall be discussing about all those badass things in the world, that have been given a reputation of being sissy and girly, by the television and virtual media that have succeeded in misleading you. Yes peeps. Today is all about unicorns, rainbows, skittles and butterflies. That's right. Badass - unicorns, rainbows, skittles and butterflies.
Let's start with unicorns. This is what they make you think a unicorn is.
|Lalala I'm a fake unicorn that plays with the cat in Hello Kitty and ponies from My Little Pony.|
|Ponies love meh but I don't give lift cuz I too badass for fluffy pony.|
|Damn, ate too much Awesomeness.|
|Dark Side of the Moon - Pink Floyd / In Rainbows - Radiohead.|
Skittles. Also known as unicorn poop. The only kind of poop you won't hesitate to gulp down. The unicorn today is nice enough to have its poop processed into crispy nitrogen-filled packets for your convenience. But Skittles go way back, before the concept of packaging was invented. These pellets of unicorn poop were discovered in exotic Amazon rainforests and African jungles, by our ancestral tribes. It was these bullets of mysterious doodoos that they used to get high on while dancing around a fire, and thus transition into a trance-like state to communicate with their gods. Side effects included rapid cure from depression, extreme levels of rapture, uncontrollable jumping, and superhuman feelings of nothing-is-impossible which led to remarkable architecture we know today as great Egyptian pyramids and Aztec temples. Skittles is the only drug known today that won't cause trouble if caught in your pocket.
|With my colour combination of fire orange and death black, I am a symbol of hell's warning to mankind.|
Posted by Rija Yousuf at 11:08:00
Saturday, 2 July 2011
We find it natural to feel sorry for handicapped people, when it should oddly enough, be the other way. The more of the five senses you have, the more disordered you are. A blind man will always have a more colourful thought than the man who only learnt seven colours at school. A deaf man will never hear evil; a dumb man will never speak it. Their world will always be simpler, cleaner, free from the irrelevances that the five senses make our brains absorb.
It is our brain that can only go as far as the eyes can see and the ears can hear. It is us who are the handicapped.
It is us they should be sorry for.
Posted by Rija Yousuf at 12:56:00
Monday, 6 June 2011
I went to the polar ice caps last week. I won’t brag, but you have not lived completely if you haven’t been there. I tap danced with penguins under aurora disco lights and dipped my feet in icy cold water while baby sea lions nibbled at my toes; went to sleep where a polar bear might’ve hibernated last winter; woke up with crunchy icicles in my hair.
Came back last night. The salt in my sweat from the heat here, tastes like the snow of the cold there. Weird.
You should go too. It’s free anyway. The human brain can be a fun place to be when the physical world disappoints you.
Posted by Rija Yousuf at 17:08:00