Tuesday, 12 April 2016

love, tony

place yourself
in the presence of a cat
a dog or a horse or a goat
to measure the contents
of grace and kindness
in your heart
let the animal scan you and 
read you
and let yourself know 
what kind of person 
you really are
keep track of your heart
like this.
people won't ever know
what kind of person you really are
why do you let them
steer your morality?

Saturday, 20 September 2014


This is the glorious house of broken families, where the lack of humans are replaced by cats and we don't even bother using electricity, for the window lights are enough. 

Saturday, 16 August 2014


Be happy honestly, be sad honestly. Smile honestly, cry honestly. Be angry in honesty, calm yourself in honesty. Laugh and eat and greet and depart in honesty. Sleep, dream and breathe honestly. Don't do anything if it's not honest. Don't touch don't look don't even think of it if it's not in honesty. And everything will be okay. 

Friday, 8 August 2014


Sometimes I think all we need in life is just a damn good sky, and you can get that any place in the world for free even if that place itself is ugly. 

Tuesday, 5 August 2014

Oh that dangerous world where good deeds are done with selfish intentions and crimes are committed with good. The world that knew it had 14 billion years of cosmic inheritage and all the laws of the universe inside it, but it wasn’t enough to prevent being lonely. Can you despise another with respect? Can you hate with dignity? Can you rage with humility?  Can you be the law against your self? Don’t say such combinations don’t exist.  Oh, they do. Try it. Self-esteem is just a disguise, a Trojan horse, a war against yourself. Don’t praise. Please, no more praises. They will be the destruction of you, their lights just blinding. But all who've hated you, yes. Criticized. That anger. They will become your rebirth. What a world where saints become sinners and sinners transcendent. Let us pray that no one is ever perfect. Let us experience each other becoming all that's good and all that's wrong. Let us all rot first and then ripen together. Let us defy the laws.

What a wonderful world.


Sunday, 20 July 2014


Dear abeerJ, Abdullah Tariq, acetyl choline, Aliza Khan, ally, Amna Khan, Anandit, Ananya, Aporia, Aqsa, Arham, Atif, babyfungus, bakedsunshine, Bartimetrix, Beyond Timid, bliss, Bush, clueless, CRD, Eirene, fivefeetsmall, furree katt, Hamster41, Hareem, Kashif (cashew) Jamal, Kshipra, laterally moved, Moonie, MothSmokeLover, Nabblogger, Nannette Ricaforte (awesome granny), Nina, Nobi, Nur R., opinionated jaahil, Peachyyy, PJ, quartertoinsane, Rahul Bhatnagar, Revacious, riddleinninesyllables, Ridx, Roshni, SaJ, Shan, Shreyansh, spirare, Talz, Tangerine, The Me, Tinuviel, Tipu, Uruj, Uzme, Vismitha, Zh., Zunaira, ever-loyal Zyenab Dhanji and all other fellow writers and readers (you do realize how much effort it took in writing all these names down?) 
Where are you guys? Are you happy? Are you sad? Are you busy? What are you doing in life? No I don't have cancer.
Just thought I'd say hi. 

Friday, 18 July 2014

music like you

You  can  isolate  yourself  from  all  the  worlds  and  sit  alone  in  silence.  But  what's  that  sound?  Coming  from  inside  you?  Your  breath,  your  heat,  your  heart,  your  beat?  They  are  parts  of  a  delicate  musical  instrument.  A  network  of  thin  metal  strings  and  technical  things,  a  tribal  drum,  a  cellular  hum.  Don't  cry,  don't  whine.  Stay  still  and  intertwine.  Just  breathe,  just  sleep.  Regenerate  through  dreams.  Dust  your  strings,  polish  your  neck.  In this  cold  world  of  noise  you  can  be  music.  You  can  be  your  own  master.  Don't  break  your  structures  -  such  a  delicate  creature  are  you.  It's  so  quiet  here  and  we  need  music  like  you.

Thursday, 17 July 2014

my cat's biology

I was reading Voltaire
until his book read me
so I turned into Voltaire
and him into me

while she slept on my chest
I sync to the sounds
of my cat's biology
as I turned into her
and she into me

floating on a lemon beach
the sun melted my body
I vaporized into sun
and the sun turned into me

I was climbing the walnut tree
as wise as he could be
he turned me into wood
and he turned into me

in a dream while I slept
with a cat on my chest
and a heart made of wood
on a beach we afloat
and you read me a book
that you had wrote for me
how I turned into you
and you into me

I woke up to realize
every day I am born
a new arrangement of pieces
of all I touch and all I see
and all that's loved and hated me
a book 
a cat 
a tree
the sea
and you
friend and foe
made me.


Tuesday, 14 January 2014

Telegraph from Space

You have intelligently defined your geographical borders and marked your identity with dashing flags of stars and stripes and crescents. But the nature of the earth does not identify or recognize these borders and cultures made by you, and so you are still, nothing. Every city is in desperate demand of kindness. To be content with your ideologies is not enough. Transcend your comfort zones. You are still not what you are capable of being. Complete, unexceptional, absolute, radiating emitters of love.  

Thursday, 18 April 2013

Fish and snips

When I was a kid and looked like a boy, my dad, my brother and I would all go to this barber shop and get haircuts together. A cute humble barber shop with sweet smiling men who'd cut your hair for just a few riyals, and the kids would get to sit on the seat that looks like a car, with a steering wheel and all. There was a glass floor that had water and real fish inside it, and I would walk over it and follow the fishes and wonder if I should suggest to the the owner to keep sharks or whales in it too but was shy. At the end they had this nice big poofy fluffy brush dipped in powder with which they'd pat the spikey bits of leftover hair off your neck. It felt like a thousand kittens. 

Then I looked up at the mirror today and the woman cutting my hair butchered me into a boy and I had to pay 600 rupees for it. 

Thursday, 4 April 2013

The Art of Loneliness

You open a book, play the song of the day, watch a movie. Paint. Draw. Write. Jam. Worship. Work out. Study. Judge. Text that old friend. You seek an escape from loneliness and that escape becomes more important, so your books and music and internet and your opinions and your god/s and nicotine all become important. Escape through your family, your friends, your cat, your studies, your very own creativity - an entire culture based on escape. Everything we call civilization. And then they tell you to discover your roots and follow the values of tradition. 


And nothing will threaten you if you've found comedy in your misery.

Thursday, 21 March 2013

The Art of Listening

We are screened with prejudices, whether religious or spiritual, psychological or scientiļ¬c; or with our daily worries, desires and fears. And with these for a screen, we listen. Therefore, we listen really to our own noise, to our own sound, not to what is being said.

Saturday, 23 February 2013

But the earth was made without labels


American Samoa
Antigua and Barbuda
Bouvet Island
Burkina Faso
Cape Verde
Cayman Islands
Central African Republic
Christmas Island
Cocos (Keeling) Islands
Costa Rica
Czech Republic
Dominican Republic
El Salvador
Equatorial Guinea
Falkland Islands
Faroe Islands
French Guiana
Guinea Bissau
Holy See
Hong Kong
Ivory Coast 
Marshall Islands
Netherlands Antilles
New Caledonia
New Zealand
Norfolk Island
North Korea
Northern Mariana Islands
Papua New Guinea
Pitcairn Island
Puerto Rico
Saint Helena
Saint Kitts and Nevis
Saint Lucia
Saint Pierre and Miquelon
Saint Vincent and Grenadines
San Marino
Sao Tome and Principe
Saudi Arabia
Sierra Leone
Solomon Islands
South Africa
South Georgia and South Sandwich Islands
South Korea
Sri Lanka
Svalbard and Jan Mayen Islands
Trinidad and Tobago
Turks and Caicos Islands
United Arab Emirates
United Kingdom
United States
Virgin Islands
Wallis and Futuna Islands

Sunday, 17 February 2013


Only the unloved hate.

Tuesday, 8 January 2013

Shame Shame

We must not be ashamed to talk about what God was not ashamed to create.

Tuesday, 18 September 2012

I am the smile that was secretly offered

Is there no sense of self apart from your taste in art and music and movies and sports and activities and interests? Is that all you are? Such tricks. Let the heart be naked and speak for itself. Don't be describable. 

Thursday, 12 July 2012

Everyone likes to sing even if they suck at it.

There needs to be a song every human being on the planet knows. Speakers in the sky will play the music at unexpected times and every one will stop whatever they were doing and forget what who what and where and we will all just stand up wherever we are around the globe and sing together without any other care in the world. Let's all write a global anthem. 

Monday, 25 June 2012

Everything in it's Right Place

I read all of your blogs. I read them and try to study what kind of people you are and what kind of things you  go through and what kind of stories you have and what really happened that made you post what you posted. There are some of you who are different from me and find importance in things I do not, and some of you probably think the same of me. There are some who struggle a lot and have channeled it into hardcore wisdom. There are some in love and I hope it makes you more happy than sad. There are some who are alone and have music, movies or books as their best friends which I think that is just perfect. There are the witty ranters and the optimistic oranges and the mysterious people who will mindfuck you by writing a few lines. There are the clowns who make people laugh and the serious story tellers. You are all lovely and I love you. Everything in it's right place.

Monday, 18 June 2012


We are all alone and I will forget all the pages of all the books I ever read and all the movies I ever watched and the names of my favorite songs and all the thoughts I ever thought and we all will die alone and nothing will matter. 

So what?

Tuesday, 29 May 2012

What would you like to be today?

According to science, this is the ideal timeline through which I was created. 

[The heights are to scale. Yes I'm 5 ft. Shutup.]
Now personally I love animals and I don't have the sort of ego that would make me think having common ancestors with apes is anything shameful. But my own thought of belief is too totalitarian to conclude that we are either just the coincidental luck of natural selection, or the easy, deliberate miracle of God. I think we are more than the both. Here is what I'd like to believe how I was created. This is a very deep proposal so please embrace yourselves.

It is only after this timeline that you can actually conclude we are all equal, because honestly that word is flung around a lot today without knowing what it even means. According to this timeline, we are chemically the same beings, and as timeless as the first creatures of the planet. We can teleport our consciences into any being, plant, animal, or another human, because they're all the same thing, distributed in different forms. So at the end of the day, I am everyone, and everyone can be me. We don't get to control this new form we are in, but we get to experience what it is like to be that in the first place. You can return to your original bodies after you're content. I don't think life get's fairer than that. I personally find too many humans egoistic so I like to turn into other creatures instead.

I am horse.
I am whale.
I am baby dinosaur.
I am baby elephant.
I am nuclei. 
I am planet.
I am tomato. 
I am potato. 
 Who are you?

Tuesday, 15 May 2012

I saw a woman today with a full on grown mustache and bushy eyebrows and thought to myself, how awesome. You know what. We poop smelly shit and we fart and burp and we are hairy and we sweat and we stink. Some of you can pretend your poop smells like flowers and you don't pass any kind of wind because you are sophisticated humans and your skin is spotless but it's all lies, lies I tell you. Why are we embarrassed by ourselves, instead of made humble? 

My armpits are itching.

So bloody what?

Saturday, 21 April 2012

Penguin Classics

The moral issues of Zoroaster, the cosmic greatness of Hinduism, the joy in Truth of Buddha, the spiritual victory of Jainism, the simple love of Tao, the wisdom of Confucius, the poetry of Shinto, the glory of the One God of Abraham, the harmony of Sikhs. 

Tuesday, 20 March 2012

Transporter III

I didn't bring anything special from Lahore, but I stored her food in my stomach and shat it in Karachi 2 hours later. I think that's more beautiful and less cliche than being at two cities at once.  

Tuesday, 6 March 2012

Daddy Cool

Stranger guy calling on my phone
"Who r u," he texts.
"Your daddy," I grinned. 
Never heard from him again. 

Thursday, 23 February 2012


My nose was blocked and my taste buds had become numb for a week. Everything tasted like nothing. Because it tasted like nothing, I imagined what it tasted like and pretended the taste I'm thinking of is the actual taste. And in that moment the imagined taste became the real taste. Maybe it was tastier than the actual taste. And then I thought, why don't I do the same with everything else? And so I did. What I did does not matter. What you should know is that black holes and dark matter and pockets of vacuum and everything dark and silent and numb and still, are just as loud and just as alive. There IS such a thing as something coming out of nothing. And because of that, there is no such thing as nothing.

Monday, 20 February 2012


It didn't solve the problem, but maybe solutions aren't the point.

Sunday, 29 January 2012

Mass Production Zone

Down with revolution and nationalism and your patriotic identity no one gives a damn about. Damn the dictators and the criminals and the corruptors and the inflicters and the critics and the philosophers and poets and writers and demi-gods and the boyfriends and girlfriends and best friends and your hobbies and interests and likes and dislikes and your degree and your education and your career and your marriage and the house you live in and the car you drive and the shows you watch on TV and your little clickety clack gadgets. All man-made, all self-invented. You need nothing but the raw, naked earth. The classes and the creeds are self-illusions to make you feel better or worse. The construction worker in his dirty gloves and the chief architect in his shiny suit are the same. The money we created and the money we can destroy. Everything on the web will vanish with the blink of the deadliest virus injected by the virtual Satan. Screw everything, don't panic. Look at the biggest picture there is to look at and suck every ounce of it into your neurons. Everything you ever wanted will be there in your mind. Screw everything I'm saying and just head bang to this song. \m/

Wednesday, 4 January 2012

You Use the Forces of Nature, the Forces of Nature Use You

I know for some of you finding your true love is an important deal, even worth all the pain and hurt you might give to one another in the process, but quite honestly -

Biology just designed all those love hormones so that you could end up reproducing and continue to raise the survival rate of the human specie.

Sunday, 1 January 2012

Dance to Forget

It's okay. Feel stupid. Be lonely. Feel unimportant. Get hurt. Feel pain. Have your hopes and dreams collapse in the palm of your hands. Don't be afraid. Die a mental death. Be born again. Die again if you want. Resume re-birth as if nothing ever happened. A customized resurrection. Live multiple lives in one body and multiple deaths in one mind. See everything again for the first time. Be a tourist to your homeland.
Now close your door and turn off the lights and dance. Dance to forget. There'll be more to remember again, soon.

Monday, 19 December 2011

Welcome to the Machine

The secret to being selfless, is subtle doses of self-service when no one is watching. A quick humble meal for the stomach, a few thoughts to keep the brain busy and blinking; healthy laughter a few times of the day. Fuel for the magnetic core till it becomes inert and reaches maximum stability. Occasional portrayal of emotions to prevent alienation from rest of the world. Surpassing the traps that distract you from the simplicity of being alive. Nothing's complicated. Have no desire, no goal, no needs, no wants, no obsessions, no love, no hate, no blame, no judgement, no inspiration, no heroes. Synchronize with the simple fabric of space. Conquest of the self. The caffeine and the nicotine and the cold shots are shortcuts. No being sorry for yourself. Be your own reason of what you are. Don't become the machine. Become the master of it. And when you do, step up and ask them,

"How may I be of service to you?"

Saturday, 5 November 2011

Art School

In an art school, half the people you meet are photographers, and the other half are people who love being photographed. 

Your average frustrated teenager trapped in a capitalist world of dissatisfaction.
Entry of photographer struggling to capture intimate moments in their most pure and realistic form.
The 3-second transformation.

Say hello to the new profile picture with 50 likes.

Friday, 7 October 2011

Zombies! Aliens! Vampires! Dinosaurs!

There's nothing more annoying than trying to cheer up your friend after a break up that feels like the end of the world for them. You end up saying things you don't believe in. Cliche things. Movie dialogues. For a while you'll feel stupid even saying those lines, but the person is so depressed the only person who knows how lame you sound, is you. [The victim of depression has been sketched so in order to avoid any resemblance with any real human being so that I do not get kicked out of my social circle. Yeh right you sadasses know who you are].

Time doesn't really heal. Cake does. 

It's not that you're special, it's statistics. There's gotta be someone you can find with mutual interests, out of 7 billion people in the world. 
Some ego-inflation should fill that puncture in your heart.
Here you will get an awkward reply, like "I don't care if there's anyone better than him/her, he/she is all I ever wanted." You will know deep inside that it is cake that everyone really wants because cake is not a lie, but they don't know that yet and it's okay.

You will find yourself trying really hard to cheer them up but they will slap your face with miserable bouts of failure.

It costed 40 Rupees at the canteen which I could've spent on four Aloo ke Samosay for myself instead.
Responses from individual male and female victims of depression.

Oh well a few hundred calories more into my blood system.

I even make phone calls just to make sure they didn't do anything stupid in my absence, which is a big thing for me anyway because I hate phone calls, mostly because they're full of unnecessary conversation to avoid awkwardness.

I must be a good friend, I must be a good friend, I must be a good friend.
Break ups suck. Not because it makes the couple miserable, but even our lives. Please love each other carefully (don't give me that "I didn't mean to love, it just happened" - crap) and until you heal again, eat lots of cake and buy yourself a puppy becomes there's nothing more reliable of your love, than a puppy. Unless it dies. Now that's sad.


Sunday, 11 September 2011

Energy Diversion

Stop it dude. Stop looking into the mirror again and again. In your home, in someone else's home, in the school bathrooms, in the coffee restrooms. Why is your image such a distraction. If you look good, you'll get a few upbeat remarks, feel good about yourself for a few minutes, and that's it. If you don't look good, no one will say anything and you can just move on with more important things. 

Stop fidgeting with your freakin' hair. It's hair strongly attached to your head, it won't fall off if you stop touching it. Stop being touchy about it. I will ruffle your hair or give you a nudgie if I want to, however neat your hair is that morning, so deal with it. 

Stop spending all your money on face washes. You know they don't work. You know the pimples will go when they want to go and there's nothing you can do about it so just let it go and let it be. 

Stop wearing clothes that are completely uncomfortable to wear but you wear them because they look good. 

Stop being so self-afflicting and fidgety and chaotic and self-conscious in all the wrong areas. Nobody cares about those insignificant things. Those who do just need to get laid. So calm down. You're pleasant when you're calm. 

Give your brain a rest. You must be tired. When you're done, there're way bigger things out there to worry about, worth the energy.

Friday, 2 September 2011

Dancing Dice

Do you ever have a good time with a stranger that you only met once, than you would with the people you see every day of your life?

I still think of this little girl back in Riyadh, sitting at her window, who'd vigorously flail her arms around to say hello to me in a language I wouldn't understand, and I'd wave back in a language she wouldn't understand either. But we randomly waved and smiled and laughed every time we spotted each other as if we had known each other for years. I still think of that old woman who sat next to me on a plane and told me about all her children getting married, leaving her to live alone by herself. I still think of that taxi driver who sang Akon songs in front of my mum for which she called him an ullu ka patha. 

Everyone doesn't always have to be in your Facebook list. You don't always have to know their names and phone numbers. Let half the people in your life be strangers that you only see for the first and last time. You will like the world more that way, and for some reason always think of them, even though they had no life-turning impact on your life. 

I'm so glad I don't know more than half the people following this blog. Take it as a compliment.

Monday, 4 July 2011

Guide to a Badass Galaxy

Hello class. Oh please no need to stand up. Do sit down.
Today we shall be discussing about all those badass things in the world, that have been given a reputation of being sissy and girly, by the television and virtual media that have succeeded in misleading you. Yes peeps. Today is all about unicorns, rainbows, skittles and butterflies. That's right. Badass - unicorns, rainbows, skittles and butterflies.

Let's start with unicorns. This is what they make you think a unicorn is.  

Lalala I'm a fake unicorn that plays with the cat in Hello Kitty and ponies from My Little Pony.

 This is what a unicorn actually looks like.
That's right. I'm the badass unicorn with a diamond-tipped horn that can fork out eyeballs out of sockets and turn them into eye candy. Get it?! Eye candy! Omg I'm so funny. 
 This is the unicorn Voldemort will use to sustain his partially mortal life. This is the unicorn whose horn holds the powers of eradicating cancer. But ah. Just when you thought it couldn't get better. Unicorns shall become more badass when I present to you...
The Black Unicorn.
Ponies love meh but I don't give lift cuz I too badass for fluffy pony. 
This is the unicorn that will not only save you from being raped, but even rape the rapist back. This is the unicorn Batman rides on when his batmobile is under maintenance. This is the unicorn that hides where even the werewolves won't find it, while it secretly headbangs to death metal and watches X-rated movies. 

Damn, ate too much Awesomeness.
Next we have, rainbows. An epic result of simple physics; I've no idea how it turned into a symbol of sissy. Since it is additionally made out of unicorn fart, and we just agreed on how the unicorn is badass, the rainbow naturally becomes a part of the badass family. If rainbows weren't badass, Pink Floyd would not have used the concept of the light spectrum on their album cover, and Radiohead would not have bothered labelling an entire album in its name. 

Dark Side of the Moon - Pink Floyd    /    In Rainbows - Radiohead.

Skittles. Also known as unicorn poop. The only kind of poop you won't hesitate to gulp down. The unicorn today is nice enough to have its poop processed into crispy nitrogen-filled packets for your convenience. But Skittles go way back, before the concept of packaging was invented. These pellets of unicorn poop were discovered in exotic Amazon rainforests and African jungles, by our ancestral tribes. It was these bullets of mysterious doodoos that they used to get high on while dancing around a fire, and thus transition into a trance-like state to communicate with their gods. Side effects included rapid cure from depression, extreme levels of rapture, uncontrollable jumping, and superhuman feelings of nothing-is-impossible which led to remarkable architecture we know today as great Egyptian pyramids and Aztec temples. Skittles is the only drug known today that won't cause trouble if caught in your pocket. 

Last, we have butterflies. They look like happy fluttering kites but taste like bitter venom. Yes, I have personally eaten them.    
With my colour combination of fire orange and death black, I am a symbol of hell's warning to mankind. 
These petty creatures have been known to have the flap of their wings contribute to tornadoes and hurricanes.

Bangladesh Cyclone, 1991, 138 866 gone.

Hurricane Jeanne, 2004, 5000 deaths.
Cyclone Nargis, 2008, 146 000 wiped out.

These butterflies are out to kill the crap out of you.

Thus ends our badass class for today. Your homework is to find as many other forms you can, of things that are badass but fail to be appreciated by us, or are sugarcoated in exaggerated layers of pink icing. Note: Anyone who writes "Barbie" will be personally slaughtered by my Black Unicorn. See you in next class.